Steal this routine

Artist and Filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky has a routine, the effectiveness of which is backed by a successful career that spans more than half a century.

When he begins to work, he puts Celtic harp music on—always the same record. He then proceeds to put perfume and draw enneagrams on his soles with a paintbrush soaked in honey. Finally—and this may be the most important step—he paints his testicles red.

It would be ridiculous if it didn’t work so well for him.

Now, If waking up at 4:30 in the am and drinking a cup of hot water with a slice of lemon hasn’t turned you into Jennifer Aniston, but it’s making you miserable instead, stop it. That’s ridiculous.

And if you decide to give Jodorowsky’s routine a try, only use non-toxic dye on your genitalia.